Home Is Where the Heart Is
by Belldandy07
Summary: Jiang Wei is taken by the Wei army. However, wrath is gradually replaced by revelations and love. Jiang Wei bonds with the Wei army, and falls in love with Xiahou Dun. But he faces a decision that can tear apart his budding relationship. Will he choose Shu or Wei?


*Fandom: Dynasty Warriors *Pairing: Jiang Wei/Xiahou Dun. WARNING: IF THIS PAIRING BURNS YOUR EYES, PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED. DO NOT READ THIS.  
*Second Warning: IF MALE/MALE ROMANCE BURNS YOUR EYES, PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED. THANK YOU.

*Note: For the sake of this adventure, Jiang Wei starts off with his long hair-then ends up with Dynasty Warriors 7 hairstyle.

*The locations Cheng Du and Pingyao are true locations in Ancient China. The Tian Shu wilderness is a product from my imagination.

*Pipa: Ancient Chinese instrument, similar to a guitar.

*This was written to 'Sanctuary-After the Battle' from Kingdom Hearts II OST.

*Except for the Tian Shu forest, and this summary, I don't own smack.

* * *

Emotion sings where silence once slept.

The absence of life tore my insides apart. It forced me to acknowledge silence-the form of silence that occupies a broken, ignorant heart.

Silence kept my eyes shut. And in that silence, I kept a firm grip on empty beliefs. I believed that a new world, the world I love now, was a haven for madness. A sanctuary for destruction, malice and misery. I believed the new world was a dark, cruel place that only cared for power. Wealth and prestige.

I believed in silence's false security.

Coming from another world, I was cast into an oblivious state. Through my old eyes, I saw my new world as an empire of torment. There wasn't any color, any music. There were only the emotions that led hearts into eternal despair. But now-

Now, I see differently. Now, I know the truth.

Everything I once believed has fallen apart. The eyes of mine...they embrace only light, now. They embrace the warm, tender sensation that ripples through the sunrise. My heart encircles the moon, compelled to do so by the rapture that burns within me. I am able to touch the stars, taste the sun, and hold light within my arms-

Because of these eyes that have been opened to the truth.

As I face my departure, my heart falls apart.

I am about to abandon everything I have come to love. The people I will always embrace, no matter what passes between our kingdoms. A great part of my heart wishes to remain here, but I know I cannot linger. The kingdom of Shu is my home, now and forevermore. I am Zhuge Liang's son, and the heir to his throne of wisdom. I am-

-not Ji, a soldier of Wei, but Jiang Wei. A staunch believer in Lord Liu Bei's benevolence.

My heart was not filled with such tenderness, long ago. Pang De of the Wei army sought to ensnare my father, on the battleground of Cheng Du. I did all that I could to protect my lord Zhuge Liang, and as a result, I was cast into captivity. In my father's place, I became Lord Cao Cao's prey. Something to torment, despise, tear down. And, in return, I loathed my captors. I hated everything they stood for. But, as time went on-

I grew to love my new world. And my new world grew to love me.

With the exception of Sima Yi and Zhen Ji, I am in love with those around me. I have surrendered my heart to each and every one of them. Lord Cao Pi, Zhuge Liao...Zhang He and DIan Wei. Jia Xu and Pang De. I have grown fond of playing the pipa in Lord Cao Pi's garden, for all to hear. Xu Zhu adores the steam buns I created, in Zhen Ji's kitchens. With the desire to aid all around me, I strolled into the kitchens one day and out came my masterpiece.

The creation of my masterpiece led to my bond between Wei's soldiers.

They gave me plenty of opportunities to return home. He gave me opportunities to return to my kingdom. But I wished to have a corner of my world, my heart, occupied by the Wei army. For a great handful of time, I lived my life as 'Ji', one of Lord Cao Pi's commanders-

And his right-hand man.

Yes, I possibly led my friends and family to believe I had fallen. I possibly cast my mother and my father into a whirlpool of despair. But if I had returned to Shu, I would've sacrificed greater knowledge. Greater wisdom. I would've forfeited my claims to the memories I hold so dear. Relieving myself of my long hair, and wearing the uniform of a Wei General, I embraced a new but ephemeral life. If I had done otherwise, I never would've developed this deep, passionate respect-

For the man that has drifted so far away.

Besides, I know my family is safe. Shu developed a steadfast alliance with Wu, quite a while ago. And fortunately, their united forces are focusing on a threat that encompasses all of China: Lu Bu.

Lord Cao Cao lost interest in targeting Shu and Wu, for two reasons: my presence and of course, the behemoth Lu Bu. Lord Cao Pi, although he is not fond of the legacy his father left behind, wishes to keep Wei's attention directed on Lu Bu.

At least I have that to lighten my heart.

Lord Cao Pi is at my side. He and his dearly departed father are separated by vast differences, but they share a mutual fondness for my presence. My affection for Lord Cao Cao, who perished quite some time ago, has not diminished my bond with his son. He's watching over me, silently providing aid as I face the hardest decision I have ever encountered.

"I am Jiang Wei, son of the great Zhuge Liang! I order you to release him, and face me!"

For a great deal of time, I was 'Ji'. I accompanied the great men of Wei as an ally.

A friend.

But facing Lu Bu, in one of Wei's greatest battles, I knew I had to follow the tides of time. I knew what I had to do, and did it with a broken heart.

I am wearing my Shu garments-the garments I was brought to Wei in. The garments of a Wei general were cast off, accompanied by my rainfall. I am at his side, hoping he won't open his eyes-despite this aching that torments my heart. Lu Bu's latest attack against the Wei army devastated my friends-and cast him into a world of painful silence. Xiahou Yuan, who rarely leaves his brother's side, is attending to the remnants of his rattled army. Fortunately, the masters of healing have promised to provide the best care for Lord Cao Pi's greatest general.

Pi awaits the future with bated breath. He awaits it with emotions that wreak havoc on my soul: fear, sadness and frustration.

I fear the future.

His hand is in mine. I took it and refuse to let go, assuring him of my presence-something that is due to wither away. In the wake of his Lord Cao Cao's death, I swore to keep him safe. I promised him I'd keep the tears away from his eyes. And in the time I have left, I am going to keep that promise.

I am going to hold on as long as I can.

There is so much I long to say, but I cannot find my voice. The rain prevents me from speaking. I began the most difficult turn in my life by casting off my Wei uniform, and my second name. Now I must finish this venture into the past, but it is not an easy path to walk. I am already missing the one that saved my heart, from Sima Yi's prying eyes. The day he shielded me from Sima Yi's malicious intentions was the day I learned something important.

I would forever remember the pure, cleansing sensation of security.

The last memories we were able to share were in the wilderness, quite some time ago. Separated from the main camp, we were pitted against the wild treasures of Tian Shu. A place where the stars collide with reality, as my father once told me.

I remember that time well. He watched me. Observed me with curious, shining brown eyes. Marveled at my ability to recall lessons on a realm we had abruptly fallen into. And-

He allowed me to care for a wound he acquired.

When we managed to return to camp, we lost sight of each other-but I never stopped thinking of him. I never stopped wondering about him, whether he was well, happy, angry or frustrated. Whether he was tormenting Xu Zhu for his antics, or threatening to relieve Sima Yi of his head. He never stopped thinking of me either, as I discovered standing before Lord Cao Cao.

"In order to secure an alliance with the people of Pingyao, a man of great strength needs to meet with the Ambassador. A man of great courage, strength of heart, and compassion. Ji, I would like you to secure Wei's ties to Pingyao."

"Me, my lord? I am not even a true part of the Wei empire!"

"Your words do nothing to conceal the truth, my child. You have done great things on our behalf."

"Surely there is someone much more suitable for this task!"

"There are plenty of men that would make great representatives for Wei. But according to one of those men, you bear the strength of a lion. You find honor in keeping your allies, your friends, safe. You remain strong in the face of danger, and...you have a very kind heart. From what I can tell, Ji, you are the perfect representative for the Wei empire."

He said all of those things.

He honored me with his words. And even though we were apart, I felt his emotions so clearly.

By giving my name to Lord Cao Cao, he thanked me for protecting him. I kept him safe, in the wilderness of Tian Shu, and he conveyed appreciation by recommending my services to Lord Cao Cao. I took the task, wanting to honor Lord Cao Cao-and the one that had spoken on my behalf. I took the task, hoped everyone would remain safe-

And collided with tragedy.

Lu Bu's forces cast Wei into agonizing torture. Lord Cao Cao and so many others perished in the line of fire, cut down by Lu Bu's relentless pursuit of power. I was unable to save our lord, but fortunately, I arrived in time to prevent Lu Bu from taking him away from me.

When I announced myself as 'Jiang Wei' instead of 'Ji', he gave me a look that broke my heart. And then fell into silence.

He will live. I know it. But so much torments his rattled heart. And-

I can no longer remain by his side.

Sima Yi and Pang De told me that word is spreading. I know word is spreading. The man named Jiang Wei is not dead but alive, responsible for Lu Bu's defeat at Red Cliff. It is only a matter of time before the forces of Shu and Wu grow unbearably restless, and initiate a search.

I must flee before he opens his eyes.

Time is running short. Lord Pi cannot remain at my side forever, and his eyes will not remain in silence forever.

I must say what torments my heart. What will always torment my heart.

"Forgive me. I promised I would remain by your side, and keep you safe, but...I must dishonor that promise. It must be broken. I love..."

It is so difficult to speak.

"I love the Wei empire, with everything that I am, but...my place is not with Wei. I am a soldier of Shu, my father's son and a guardian of Lord Liu Bei's dream. I must return home, and aid my family in honoring Liu Bei's wishes. But...a part of me wishes I could remain here. It sickens me to know that I cannot remain here, with Lord Cao Pi. It sickens me to know that...I can no longer remain by your side."

I shut my eyes and linger in silence for a moment, then continue. All the while holding his hand, with Lord Pi at my back.

"I carry this deep, searing fondness for your voice, like a fire that scorches the night. I feel things, sensations, the human race treasures. I feel the rush of a Spring morning, the calm of a Summer afternoon, and the touch of a gentle night...whenever you are near me. Never before did I believe I would ever carry such strong feelings for another, as I meant to dedicate my life only to my lord Zhuge Liang, but...here I am, clutching the hand of someone I hold so dear."

With Cao Pi's eyes observing me, I gently lay my chest onto the chest of his general. I remain still for what feels like an eternity, withering away in his scent and form, then I press a kiss against his lips. Another follows in the pursuit of unsatiable satisfaction. I kiss my heart's thief without any hope for tomorrow, knowing I will never again be able to feel such warmth. "I love you," I murmur, over and over again. Ebbing away as tears course from my eyes.

"Please. Remain strong. Show the world the fire I was blessed with, on so many occasions. Please. Please...remain strong. I could not bear it if I heard news of your death. I would...I would be much happier seeing you on the battlefield once more...even as your enemy. I would gladly allow you to take my life, as I will never be able to raise my spear against you-even for the sake of Shu. So please. Remain strong, so that I may see you again. I will be happy...very happy, to see you...alive. To know that you are fighting for your lord's wishes."

Liquified diamonds continue to course down my cheeks. Many of them fall upon the chest I will never be able to caress, ever again. I give his hand a final squeeze and kiss, then turn to his remaining lord. Cao Pi's eyes are the eyes of a friend: filled with compassion, sadness and his wrath over the inability to change things. "Are you sure you do not wish to wait?" he asks me, in regards to my wishes on a quick departure.

I shake my head. "This must be done. He would make it impossible for me to return to Shu. This must be done."

Pi rises to his feet, eyes wielding the wishes of his allies. His family. We are silent for a moment, standing inside of his general's tent. With his eyes, he pleads with me to stay-but my eyes cannot fulfill his request. Submitting to defeat, he does something for the very first time.

He envelops someone in an embrace. And that someone is me.

"Please do not worry. I will personally see to his recovery."

I nod, no longer able to speak.

A part of me was foolish enough to hope that my first round of goodbyes would be my last. But now I stand before Lord Cao Pi, who sees me as a friend.

"We will continue our assault on Lu Bu's forces. Wei will target neither Shu or Wu-unless, of course, one of their men make the first move. Zhang Fei is always itching for a fight."

His attachment to that vow was accompanied by laughter. By his own brand of radiant humor. I smile in response but Pi's charisma only makes my heart heavier. "I will never forget what you have done," he presses on, hands on my shoulders. His eyes are filled with a light that shatters my already-wounded heart.

"I will never forget what you have done for my father. For my men. For all of Wei. Jiang Wei of Shu, you will always be a friend."

Nodding, I stumble out of his arms. I stumble out of the tent, and somehow make my way to Red Hare, Lu Bu's former steed. The absence of Xiahou Yuan's uproarious laughter, Zhang He's dances and Xu Huang's sermons torments me. Everyone has already said their goodbyes, with-

The exception of Xiahou Dun.

With my spear, enough rations for a week, and my beloved parting gifts, I clutch Red Hare's reigns. I look upon the faces I have grown so fond of, including those that have already wished me well. Even the hardest of generals, Zhuge Liao being one of them, are in the clutches of overwhelming emotion. Xu Zhu is weeping as if I have been killed. And-

-he continues to sleep, so far away from me.

I do what must be done. I urge Red Hare out of Wei's main camp. I drive my new companion away from a world I once hated, with a fierce passion.

And I do not look back.

In the wake of my departure, battle cries pierce the heavens. It is a celebratory cry-I know, because my heart withers upon hearing it. The cry is being released in honor of Wei's newest hero. Friend.

Family member.

I do what must be done. I ride on, without looking back. I ride on, taking their final show of appreciation with me. I ride on, without looking back-

And thinking of the only man, the only human, I will ever love.


End file.
